Time-off

Recently I have been so depressed and lousy. To make matters worse, I also felt lonely. This bad trio kept bugging me for a while. Checking Facebook caused those feelings. FB is a good tool to keep in touch with friends ( and stalk someone you don’t even know). But somewhere down the line, I couldn’t enjoy connecting on FB. People were having fun with friends at parties, traveling to nice places, getting promoted,etc. Me? I was at home wearing an old T-shirt and pony tail. What I did after I saw their status was to drink wine to comfort myself but still looking at my iphone screen. I usually ended up feeling desperately lonely like I was alone in middle of nowhere. I had been struggling to get out of this downward spiral. I told this to one of my close friends the other day. She gave me very smart advice. ” Quit FB for a week” Honestly, I had mixed feelings about this idea. I mean I knew that was the only way to solve my problem butĀ  I was kind of addicted to it, especailly at midnight. To get back my life, I took her advice and deleted my FB app on the way home from her house. She also had quit it for a few weeks before so she knew how to deal with it. She gave me a tip to survive with. ” Keep distracting yourself” I checked FB only when I was bored like watching TV or waiting at the train station. Instead of reaching out my iphone, I did my nails by myself, focused on listeningĀ  my ipod or send emails to friends. If he/she is your friend, you can find a way to keep in touch with them and they are willing to do it,too. Unfortunately if they aren’t, then don’t care. They are nothing for you.

 

After a week time-off, I check FB much less. Now I use time wisely. As I mentioned, I saw it only when I was bored and had nothing to do. I keep myself busy like right now. I am writing this blog which takes up time in a good way. I am a bit more emotionally stable and laid-back. I am still upset by small things and read too much into things. I couldn’t change my traits. The most important thing I have learned from this time-off is it is okey to be just me. I need to stop being hard on myself and accept who I am. Maybe (hopefully maybe not) I am not so funny or smart or cute(but if you say “yea you’re not cute”, I will punch you in the face). And I accept it. You know how I feel about it? I love to be myself.

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